Giving Objectivity to Motivation

One day as I travelled in the company of some colleagues, I moved to buy a book(a motivational one), and my then supervisor gave a wry smile and quickly offered a reason for that, saying ” a lot of the things written, especially in the very popular ‘motivationals’ are common place knowledge, hence, if you take your time to document the things you do, they may be some form of motivation for the people around “. when he concluded, I genuinely smiled back and purchased the book anyway.

Truly, in reality, we must live our lives such that, we need not tell people who we are, but they can instantly see it, feel it, read it, emulate it, genuinely appreciate it, embrace it and work to be it (even better) if it is in consonance with who they perceive themselves to innately be.

All this story aside, my mind was piqued when I saw this picture, especially by the bold inscriptions ( Headline in journalism/media parlance) but the explanation that followed appeared one-sided to me.

True again! We are as good as the people we surround ourselves with but we must be playing a role in that committee of friends.

Are we just being sponges to soak in everybody’s goodness or we are like flowers that share their sweet essence and fragrance?

I am becoming increasingly aware that people are taking instructions or guidance from a selfish point of view, hence, once such motivation point is offered, they take it as a pat on the back to continue to pursue the interest of self.

Increasingly aware I am becoming still, that when we seek to pursue what interests self first, quickly do we abandon principles and the plight of our neighbour (except we find an opportunity to disguise as a good Samaritan)- So long and short, we only chase after the sugar like ants or become the “anywhere belle face kind of people”.

Yes, I want to surround myself with greatness, with positives but I am not going to look away from the “sincere lazies, sincere negatives, sincere struggling etc”.

P.S: The reason I used sincere to qualify, is to cater for those who are yet to find anyone to take them out of their limiting situation, especially when they are genuinely seeking.

I truly think we must strike a balance in motivation.


Gratitude for Friendship

Frankly, it is very easy for us to become ungrateful. The human desires are so unlimited that we expect to always have our way in all things and be attended to whichever way we turn.

Owing to our insatiable nature, we get carried away by the things we don’t have or the things that our friends forget to do for us; whilst forgetting the many that they have done and will still do from the abundance of their good thoughts and intentions for us.

I have always prided myself to be one who would always ask “what can I offer?” rather than “what can I get?” But sometimes, the human that I am kicks in and its fruit takes days to go away and I have noticed that there is an overwhelming energy associated with our expectations (positive or otherwise).

If our expectations are for self gratification, we become blinded to the needs of others and their efforts for us. On the other hand though, maybe we are also being considerate but the moment we begin to think of ourselves as the most considerate, we still fall victim of being consumed by the fire of self gratification.

I have repeated so many times to myself that I have been blessed with good people around me and that is my sole motivation for replicating the good that I have received.

I pray daily that I do not get carried away by my needs, frustrations & suspicions so much so that I forget being grateful to God for your existence.

I am eternally grateful for my friends; I hope you are too?

What’s your inspiration story?

I’m learning new things and this is not the regular saying. I am purposely learning new things (don’t ask me… can’t go into details)… but reality in the past couple of weeks has taught me that negativity creeps in on you and if not properly reigned in; leads to depression.

In the light of this, I’m making conscious efforts to know the moments when negativity is creeping up; and I have come to realise that it is at those moments when I am idle and seeking some unarguably selfish attention.

Now, I try to turn those self-conceited thoughts to people-centred thoughts.

So when I say I’m learning new things, I’m not saying it because I am reading about them but because I am experiencing them and working towards conquering negativity.

Summarily, I believe now when some people say that we can all author inspirational or self-help books, because, in one way or another, our lives are both inspiration and help to those around us.

Do you relate?

Tell Yourself the Truth

The deepest yearnings of our hearts are what we radiate.

The more we engage it; and in it, the more of it we become.

The more we protect ourselves from it, the strongly it pulls us to it.

It is widely proposed that we think happy thoughts and profess “positivity”;

But, where do we draw the line for denial; or even make room for attentiveness to danger alerts?

I think that the Bible’s injunction “to watch and pray” is the answer to the concerns above.

In essence, do not banish yourself to absolute naivety, so much so that you bask in a limbo of falsities.

Ignorance hasn’t really helped anyone, you know!

Tell yourself the truth!

What do you want to attract & what are you actually attracting?

I know they say good attracts good; In fact I did believe that (or maybe I still do, because I live by a self-imposed ‘good’ motto: Be Good Regardless…). With that, I ask myself, how much of yourself are you willing to give until there’s nothing left to give?

How do you define those deserving of your good: could it be because they can pay you back or because by being humans, they deserve to be treated ‘goodly’ regardless…

I go with, “because you’re human, you deserve to be treated “goodly” regardless…

But how do we define what is good?
Is it okay to be good to people’s faces and become something else when they’re not watching? (That’s pretence if you ask me), because in truth, our real character is reflected in the things we do when no one is watching.

Could your being good, be plain ‘matching ‘? (Matching being a situation where someone is good to another because they have received or are still receiving something from that person).

Much as these musings have kept me awake most nights these days, I’m learning to be careful not to force my standards on people but rather try to help; and I must confess that one’s willingness to help is not enough to help the other; can you guess why?

Pretence! That’s why. People expect you to wait on them while they make up their minds whether they want to get better or not; but give you no positive sign of improvement.
Making it look like you’re only as good as your presence which makes them pretend, so that the moment you turn your back they change skin to who they really are and prefer to be.

I agree, no struggle is easy and the struggle to kick a bad habit is much worse to conquer but I should resound to every one of us as we struggle with those unsightly habits that “battles are won when fought together”.

No one can help you win if they do not understand the nature of the war – and no matter the help you’re getting, there will be no progress if you continue to deny and not acknowledge the gravity of the losses you accrue while indulging in that habit.

I, for one am not left out, because I can tell of moments when I keep my lips sealed when I should have spoken.

So these days, I remind myself to practice “a little openness a day” with a constant reminder that a lot of the things we do in hiding reflect on the outside anyway; and it is that reflection that will determine if we will attract good or otherwise.